Did I Just Lose My 'Soulmate'?

Did I Just Lose My 'Soulmate'?

As soon as a breakup occurs there are certain things that happen. The partner that did the dumping becomes angry and closed-off, while the other partner becomes convinced that they have just lost their soulmate and there will never be anyone as good and as beautiful as them.

It's an illusion that the chemicals in our body play on us. We were calm in the relationship, just drifting along and going with the flow. We weren't really trying to improve the relationship. We weren't 'working' at it at all. We were just letting it 'be'. 

Then the dumping (what a harsh word!) happens and 'bang' (THAT was a LOUD noise!) we are prepared to fight like crazy to get them back. It's the fear-of-loss and fight-or-flight response kicking in.

And(Yes. I started a sentence with 'and') all of a sudden we are determined that that one particular person out of 7 billion was our ONE SOUL MATE...which is most certainly not the case. They were one of a large number of potential 'soulmates'. 

Who even said they were your 'soulmate'? The chemicals in your brain that cause the medical state known as 'attraction' did.

There are 7 billion people on the planet. Obviously you don't get a chance with each of them but there are millions of soulmates for you out there. They're everywhere. You're literally surrounded by a sea of soulmates. 

So play it safe. 

Stay home .

Lock the door. 

Hide.

And then your soulmate will never find you. 

Do not despair.

You can get your ex back quite quickly. You just need a system.

The Joy Of The No Contact Rule?

Is the 30 Day No Contact Rule A Good One?

Yes it is. 

It's certainly a good rule for anyone to follow after the breakup has happened. It just makes good sense.

Even though that 'sense' is counterintuitive to most people. 

What is the no-contact rule? It is as it sounds - you've been 'dumped'(I hate that word) and you're feeling the urge to speak to, ring, text message or fax your ex back into your life - well...You MUSTN'T! You're not allowed to! Do you hear me? It's illegal - well, not illegal...Let me explain:

Each time you contact them, whether they answer, reply to your text message, acknowledge your fax or whatever, you are doing damage.

You are killing the sexual tension and the mystery, to name two things you shouldn't be killing.  

The fact of the matter is that you, as the dumpee, have to prove to the 'dumper' that you don't need them and aren't even concerned in the slightest about the breakup.

Obviously this is an 'act' that you have to fight like hell with your emotions to put on but - believe me - the benefits are massive...Actually they're even better than that!

Remember - for any disciplined effort there is a MULTIPLE reward! And I for one love anything 'multiple'! 

Obviously there are no guarantees but at the very least the lack of contact your partner receives will make them wonder like crazy what you are up to...and maybe even who you're with!

A little bit of curiosity...plus some time...equals a massive amount of curiosity. Plus the ability for them to start looking at your history through rose-coloured glasses. 

No Contact!

Is the 30 day no-contact rule an underhanded trick?

I see your point, but it's not a trick.  It's like doing exercise. No one really WANTS to do pushups but you will get a benefit from them. It's just that we can't see the benefit we will be getting because it's in the future. That's where we keep a lot of good stuff. 

(Obviously there are many people that enjoy exercise. Because they are able to visualise how it will pay off for them.)

But we also know, subconsciously, that not contacting our ex is a good thing - and we also know it long-term. We simply want to take the easy way out even though we know it will do damage to the chance of ever getting them back.

So it's not a 'trick' or a 'mind-game'...it's exercise. It's a task, that's for sure!